INVENTION: THE WILD, THE STRANGE, THE WACKY

"Man will always find a complicated means to perform a simple task" -- Rube Goldberg

In invention, Man (Woman) has a creative bent - Always looking for an easy way to perform day to day tasks. The creative mind does this in many ways - but also leads to some wild, strange and wacky approaches to problems - some problems you didn’t even know you had.

But that doesn’t stop the invention process. You can only guess what led an inventor to come up with his idea. Only he or she knows what lit up the ol’ idea light bulb. Speaking of women, there are thousands of patent applications filed by women modernly. However, only twenty patents were issued to a woman before 1840. This is not speaking to woman’s lack of creativity - but more to women’s suppression in days of yore.

An earlier Commissioner of Patents is purported to have stated to the effect that they would be closing the patent office because there was nothing else left to invent. If that’s true, he was very short-sighted. We are coming up on 7,000,000 registered patents in this country alone.

And some are really wacky.

The first invention to be shown here defies logic. I’m sure the inventor had a reason for developing his idea - but why escapes me. How about a puppet that fits on the end of your toe? Yep - that’s what I said. Maybe the inventor ran out of fingers.

SEE THE AMAZING TOE PUPPET

How about a motorized ice cream cone? The ice cream is scooped into a cone that is motorized and turns the cone as you stick your tongue against the ice cream. Kinda takes all the fun out of dripping all over yourself - not to mention (which it doesn’t) how - or whether - you have a sugar cone to eat. High tech invention gone crazy - or lazy.

THE MOTORIZED ICE CREAM CONE INVENTION

The next invention has some practical application - at least in 1996 when there was the Killer Bee scare. You guessed it - A Self-Containing Enclosure For Protection From Killer Bees.

Practical? It may save you from attack - IF - you know when the Killer Bees are coming - and you have enough time to get into the enclosure. If you are just paranoid and stay in the enclosure all the time - you would have a very, very, lonely life.

KILLER BEE PARANOIA KIT

And speaking of lonely - how about an Apparatus For Simulating A High Five? Maybe it’s just to be for practice. It appears that this invention attaches to a wall so it would have to be rather ... er ... permanent. Different strokes .. or high fives .. for different folks.

GIVE ME FIVE - AS LONG AS I WANT

This next one - if you were not lonely - you would most probably be if you walked down the street with it. It is a Greenhouse Helmet - a dome that fits over your head with shelves for growing plants. That way you get to breathe the oxygen given off by the greenery. You would think that maybe this inventor lived in a smog belt like L. A. - but no, the inventor is from Brooklyn, NY. Maybe he had a bad visit to La-La Land.

WELCOME TO LA-LA-LAND WITH PURE AIR

I saved this last invention for all you rockers and stage performers. Actually, this one falls into the cool category. It is a Method And Means For Creating Anti-Gravity Illusion.

The schtick is to have a plate attached to a stage that has a triangle with grooves on top of it. Then the performer wears a pair of shoes with the second half of this invention. The heel of the shoe slips onto the plate - and the performer can then lean waaaaay over - defying gravity - supposedly. Could be a pretty cool trick - at least the first time.

ANTI-GRAVITY - PRO SHOW INVENTION

These are just a few selected inventions that show the invention process. If you think your idea is wild and wacky - just compare it to these - which in fact did receive patents. Remember - article of manufacture - unique - and non-obvious to one in the trade. Practicality is not necessarily a condition.

The other thing you can get from these patents is to see the form they take and the language that is used. Read the abstracts (the short blurb on the right of each page). Now you can see that you probably don’t speak the language of the Patent Office.

Please don't forget to check out the survey page and the "What Is It" page on this site. Both will help me help you and bring more of what you want to this site.